An Old Dog Learns New Tricks

This past week, I learned a lot! I learned how to patch dry wall, how to lay floor, the correct way to trim a wall with paint. I also learned that people have been lying about me.

As a life long people pleaser, waking up to an angry text or hearing someone say something negative about me physically hurts. This week I had a panic attack- something that hasn’t happened in months. I hate not being liked. I know it’s from years of being a people pleaser, but it is so ingrained in me that it feels like an integral part of who I am.

Luckily I have a LOT to do this week with getting the new house ready and packing up our stuff at the condo so I have had a ton of things to do with my hands while I was also able to reflect. I noticed that the people that are acting negatively towards me are people pleasers themselves. They haven’t busted free from that cycle yet, so they expect me to stay in that line as well.

Old Lexi would have driven to that person’s house and insisted we talk it out. I would grovel and apologize (even if I didn’t feel like I was in the wrong, there always seemed like there was SOMETHING I could do to make the situation better). Now I don’t need to do that. I’m done with the people pleasing bullshit. I am still a nice person, don’t get me wrong. But I am done putting other people before me and my family. This boundary has been life changing for my mental health and my overall happiness.

If someone feels the need to lie about me or accuse me of lying, then that’s on them. It’s THEIR opinion of me. I don’t need to stress myself out constantly about how to make their perception of me different. If they want to talk to me and hear my side or what I have to say about anything, they can come to me when they’re in that headspace.

P.S. My stepdaughters said they wanted a galaxy themed room. I am SO PUMPED to show them their room next week!!! I think I crushed it.